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Analyze Friend: http://analyzewords.com/index.php?handle=badhbhcatha

Analysis of tweets from badhbhcatha
(1171 most recent words - 23rd August, 2017)

Emotional Style

 Upbeat (Low)   26 
 Worried (Very high)   93 
 Angry (High)   78 
 Depressed (Very high)   95 

Social Style

 Plugged In (Low)   30 
 Personable (Very high)   94 
 Arrogant/Distant (Low)   23 
 Spacy/Valley girl (Average)   58 

Thinking Style

 Analytic (Very high)   97 
 Sensory (Low)   30 
 In-the-moment (Very high)   82 

Tweets analyzed from badhbhcatha:

I think I'm slowly realizing that focusing all my efforts on transgenderism just won't work out. It's small in the context of larger things. This doesn't mean I should abandon what I believe in, which is supporting women & difference. But I've had to reevaluate action & coalition. My critique of transgenderism for being antifeminist and antiwoman led to a coalition with groups who are antifeminist and antiwoman. I want to hold onto my principles, but all of them. I want women to be strong, but joining with other groups that hate women won't work. Male doctors & psychiatrists, antifeminists, others who hate lesbians and women. I would let them tag along for just one issue I believe in. But what shook me is that, more and more, the people sharing my critical spaces were the same people also denigrating lesbians & feminists. What I want is for lesbians & especially butches to not feel like they have to change who they are for others. To self-affirm and be strong. There's so much coercive pressure for women, especially lesbians, to conform and reshape ourselves. Adrienne Rich wrote about it. I've been reconsidering how I feel about transmen lately. I think it hurt me to learn that other women could give into pressure and change. I mostly just read poetry today. Adrienne Rich. It was a great day. I think I might start reading Audre Lorde again soon, it's been awhile. I'm not sure if all of this is good for me. I'm a person. I deserve breaks, I deserve pursuits that make me feel alive rather than attacked. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to go a day, a month, a year just not letting this transgenderism mess enter my concerns. What would I do? For so long I've gone to work and then come home and jumped right into the same endless gender debates. Why haven't I been able to move on? But I also looked through their work a bit. Raymond and Hausman focused on transgenderism in their Dissertations, and then mostly moved on. Raymond and Hausman were absolutely crucial for critiquing transgender ideology. Hausman's "Changing Sex" put the gender in gender critical. Rich, Daly, Morgan, and Dworkin were prolific! They inspired some of my original gender critical thoughts, but they wrote on so much more. I looked at books by some of my radfem heroes today. Adrienne Rich. Mary Daly. Bernice Hausman. Robin Morgan. Janice Raymond. Andrea Dworkin I want to continue being a feminist, but refocused. A fighter, but with different kinds of battles. A community builder, but another group. But now? I'm having second thoughts, even regrets. I don't know where I'll end up, but I want to refocus. I want to value my time too. So when the antifeminist men came along, it felt like an immediate relief. I could accept having them on my side and work through it later. I think a lot of it was feeling like I had no allies. If I searched my name on twitter all I saw was people angry with me and mocking me. Why have I mistrusted transwomen so much but then accepted the comradery of antifeminist and antiwoman men? It makes no sense in retrospect. I kept up this project because I believe in radical feminism, but I often made concessions out of feeling attacked and backed into a corner. I continue to be suspicious of transwomen, but does that mean I should align with others who are explicitly antifeminist and antiwoman? I've started to become very uncomfortable with people who want to participate in my gender critical project but who I otherwise detest. For me "TERF" is not just a slur, it's a prison. It's not just a fear of being wrong, or thinking things that I was attached to in a new way. I'm also afraid of what my community will think I wonder how much I kept up my focus just because it pinned me down in a place that also sometimes felt like comradery. Stuck by both sides. It also put me in the tough position of being an original. Someone others in the trenches looked up to. Making a real community too. An icon Then it started to become a huge source of stress. Random people angry at me, yelling and sometimes attacking, sometimes shutting me out. It's really tough being one of the first people called a "TERF." I used to see it as a badge of pride. It was a sign I was principled, real. Maybe there's a way to accept the real thoughts I've had, my real ways of working through things, but also move on. Try something different. What if the arrogance goes both ways? I've fought. Sometimes lost, sometimes won. Sometimes felt really bad. But what would it mean to stop? I also had some real fights, and frankly got really burned on them. I felt attacked and I felt hurt. But I realize that was a few people. For a long time I was really mad at transwomen, I saw them as arrogant. How could they understand what I've experienced? It was an insult. I'm revisiting feminist writings that I respect. In Frye's Politics of Reality she has this great essay on arrogance, opposes it with love. I don't know if you've noticed, but things have been kind of bad lately. Maybe I could help with that. Maybe I could make a real difference. Maybe in the past my words would've made a difference. But now? I think trans is going to be around. Maybe I should learn to live with that. I used to do other feminist things too. I lost so many friends. Made some new ones, but all around this same micro focus. I miss people. I realized that not a day had gone by for awhile where I didn't think about trans people. What happened to me? I used to do other things How do you pick up the pieces? How do you start to make things right? I really think they’re different. But how should I treat people that are different? Not like I have been. And it’s weird, right. What’s actually bad about sex-based oppression? Can you really deny that it happens to transwomen? Was I picking on them? Were they picking on me? I guess I worry sometimes that I’m cruel. There’s a thing that happens when you’re a fighter, you kinda dig in. At this point I don’t even remember who started it. I act like the answer is no. I owe a lot of people a lot of apologies. All of this time, I’ve been asking “are transwomen women?” But I haven’t been asking “are they human?” I don’t want my kind of feminism to die out, but maybe I’m doing more harm than good More and more I’ve been reconsidering my obsessive focus on trans people.